Nijmegen / Doornroosje

Friendly and warm, like milk and honey, the Dutch tend to have a softness about them that I connect with. A basic human goodness that is not feeble. I found that Holland is also home to many Spaniards from the South America's and beyond. Both Dutch shows had their share of my Spanish brother's and sisters. When we first arrived to Holland, Sean and Mavis quickly accomodated themselves at a local coffee shop due to their lax Mary Jane laws.

Last time we played Holland was at the Dynamo Festival in '94 and it was aperfect 1st ending for Cynic in Europe. Doornroosje at first felt like a dejavu. The spray painted walls in the back of the building looked familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. Sean says "we played here before!". Another kind fan told me that he remembered the show distinctly. Later in the night, a couple more people mentioned their own personal full-circle synchronicities that took place for them at the venue, (a few ran into old friends, memories, etc..). I like the thought of Cynic bringing people together with one common bond. We added a tiny picture of Raymond (sound engineer) into the Focus reissue collage that's taken from the back of Doornroosje.

Back in '94, we performed Focus 2x here, because Pestilence had dropped off the tour and as the headliner, we were asked to play a longer set. Many others in the audience recalled that earlier show. A collection of much younger fans showed up transmitting positive vibes and fresh new energy. How encouraging to see the next generation tuning in and connecting to these songs. Local band 'Textures' opened the night. Great sounds and musicianship. Thanks for the 2nd cabinet guys.

We stretched out again playing the full set and mixing things up. I was completely relaxed yet must surrender to a looser guitar approach when I let my body dictate how the music feels, versus just studying my neck to play perfectly onstage. Mistakes become part of the raw truth of performance. Ultimately, there really are no mistakes in performance. For me, it's all about synchronizing mind and body, which is not a self improvement technique, but rather a basic principle about how to be a human being, and how to use my sense perceptions, my mind and body together. When my mind and body are synchronized I have no doubt, which for me is trusting in myself, trusting in my heart. Thank u Trungpa for sharing the innate wisdoms.

Live performance can have many different levels of consciousness associated with it. If the mind is fully present and engrossed in the music, time approaches absence. If one is self-conscious and a bit detached the connection to the audience get's lost. Obvious stuff, but a necessary simple reminder for awareness. The beauty of touring is that one get's to fine tune these subtle degrees of performance detail and grasp even deeper into that collective pool of subconcious, where magic discovers itself. We certainly had some glimpses of divination tonight. I also experienced a new learning curve that left me with one foot in and one foot out. Kind of like an LSD /Ayahuasca trip where you haven't gone so deep that you've lost your footing and yet you know you're high as hell. Curiously, it seems that my deepest moments of connection to the audience are when I'm most internal, just tuning into to the vibration of the space and losing all thoughts of self in that state...opening up the antenna.

After the show, many Human and Focus CD's popped up for signatures. Thanks to the creator's of 'Empty Words' website who were so kind to say hello after the show and to all the amazing fans who spoke from their heart and shared with us. One mother introduced her son, who said she turned Focus onto him and he onto his own son. I was blown away by this family torch passing story. Again, a reminder about how music travels, transcending time and space, always working on a deeper more mysterious level.

Paul



Nijmegen set list

Veil Of Maya
Celestial Voyage
The Eagle Nature
Sentiment
I'm But A Wave To...
Evolutionary Sleeper
Uroboric Forms
Textures
Cosmos
Meeting Of The Spirits
How Could I